consequenses of divorce:
If you and your children are being physically or sexually abused by your spouse, get to a safe place and get help now! The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides lifesaving tools and immediate support to empower victims and survivors of domestic violence to find safety and live free of abuse. Call 1-800-799-7233.
However, if you are deeply “unhappy” or "alone" in your marriage…don’t fool yourself into believing divorce is the
solution. Divorce is merely the exchange of one set of problems for another. Here are some facts you should know about
divorce:
1) Divorce is devastating with much collateral damage. It affects everyone in your life including your kids, your future grandchildren, your parents, your in-laws and your friends.
2) The Government Accountability Office reports that divorce results in a 41% reduction in household income for women and a 23% reduction for men. Less than 10 percent of married couples with children are poor as compared with about 35 to 40 percent of single-mother families.
3) Divorce is bad for your mental and physical health. Divorce results in Anxiety, Drastic Weight Change, Metabolic Syndrome, Depression, Cardiovascular Disease, Substance Abuse, Insomnia, Chronic Health Problems and Mobility Issues.
4) You may convince yourself that you will be happier without the stress and conflict, but you were made to crave connection. It is not good to be alone. That being said, the statistics can’t be ignored. First marriages have the best chance to succeed. The divorce rate increases with each consecutive marriage. Second marriages only have a 25% chance of lasting and third marriages even less.
5) The grieving process following a divorce is typically seven years or longer. The biggest mistake men and women make following a divorce is falling into another unhealthy relationship which, like a drug, my numb the emotional pain for a period of time, but will inevitably intensify the damaging effects of divorce.
6) Divorce is essentially “giving up” on your spouse and family...the people you vowed to love most. No doubt you are hurting, but your spouse and kids are hurting too and they need you to fight for them.
7) Divorce is bad for kids and bad for society. The family is the natural community in which human social interactions are experienced and learned. Therefore, healthy families are the foundational building blocks of a healthy society. The family unit is born from the stable and committed communion of a man and a woman in marriage.
8) Most of what kids learn about marriage and family is caught versus taught. When you leave the person you vowed to love until death, you send a message to your kids (and others) that love is conditional and it is okay to break promises. Naturally, your kids will feel less secure about anyone’s ability to love them unconditionally (including your own) and will be less inclined to keep promises or stay committed in their own marriage.
9) Children of divorce are more likely to experience poverty, educational failure, early and risky sexual activity, non-marital childbirth, abortion, cohabitation, divorce, depression, suicide, smoking, vaping, cutting, drug and alcohol abuse, violent behavior, criminal activity and incarceration.
What Does The Bible Says About Divorce?
You should not rely on your emotions to make important life-altering decisions. Feelings cannot be trusted. Like the house built on sand, a life built on feelings, or human logic for that matter, is heading toward destruction. Only a life built on Solid Rock will be able to withstand the storms that are certain to come. Therefore, it is important that you base all important life decisions on the infallible Truth in God’s Holy Word. So, what does the Bible say about divorce?
• Malachi 2:16 - “I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “because the man who divorces his wife
covers his garment with violence, So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”
• Matthew 5:31-32 - “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of
adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
• Mark 10:2-12 - Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
“What did Moses command you?” he replied. They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of
divorce and send her away.” “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus
replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will
leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no
longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” When they were in
the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and
marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another
man, she commits adultery.”
• Luke 16:18 - “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man
who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
• 1 Corinthians 7:39 - A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is
free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
• Ephesians 5:33 - However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband.
• Romans 7:2-3 - For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if
her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with
another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is
released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.
• Deuteronomy 22:19 - They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the young woman’s
father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must
not divorce her as long as he lives.
• Jeremiah 3:1 - “If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him and marries another man, should he return
to her again? Would not the land be completely defiled? But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers--
would you now return to me?” declares the LORD.
• 1 Corinthians 7:11-13 - But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.
And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who
is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband
who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
• Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds
something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his
house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband
dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies,
then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That
would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you
as an inheritance.
• Matthew 19:8-9 - Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were
hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for
sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
• Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the
adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
• 1 Corinthians 7:10-14 - To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate
from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a
husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a
believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not
a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been
sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.
Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
No marriage is beyond hope. With Christ all things are possible! We are here to help! Contact us today!
However, if you are deeply “unhappy” or "alone" in your marriage…don’t fool yourself into believing divorce is the
solution. Divorce is merely the exchange of one set of problems for another. Here are some facts you should know about
divorce:
1) Divorce is devastating with much collateral damage. It affects everyone in your life including your kids, your future grandchildren, your parents, your in-laws and your friends.
2) The Government Accountability Office reports that divorce results in a 41% reduction in household income for women and a 23% reduction for men. Less than 10 percent of married couples with children are poor as compared with about 35 to 40 percent of single-mother families.
3) Divorce is bad for your mental and physical health. Divorce results in Anxiety, Drastic Weight Change, Metabolic Syndrome, Depression, Cardiovascular Disease, Substance Abuse, Insomnia, Chronic Health Problems and Mobility Issues.
4) You may convince yourself that you will be happier without the stress and conflict, but you were made to crave connection. It is not good to be alone. That being said, the statistics can’t be ignored. First marriages have the best chance to succeed. The divorce rate increases with each consecutive marriage. Second marriages only have a 25% chance of lasting and third marriages even less.
5) The grieving process following a divorce is typically seven years or longer. The biggest mistake men and women make following a divorce is falling into another unhealthy relationship which, like a drug, my numb the emotional pain for a period of time, but will inevitably intensify the damaging effects of divorce.
6) Divorce is essentially “giving up” on your spouse and family...the people you vowed to love most. No doubt you are hurting, but your spouse and kids are hurting too and they need you to fight for them.
7) Divorce is bad for kids and bad for society. The family is the natural community in which human social interactions are experienced and learned. Therefore, healthy families are the foundational building blocks of a healthy society. The family unit is born from the stable and committed communion of a man and a woman in marriage.
8) Most of what kids learn about marriage and family is caught versus taught. When you leave the person you vowed to love until death, you send a message to your kids (and others) that love is conditional and it is okay to break promises. Naturally, your kids will feel less secure about anyone’s ability to love them unconditionally (including your own) and will be less inclined to keep promises or stay committed in their own marriage.
9) Children of divorce are more likely to experience poverty, educational failure, early and risky sexual activity, non-marital childbirth, abortion, cohabitation, divorce, depression, suicide, smoking, vaping, cutting, drug and alcohol abuse, violent behavior, criminal activity and incarceration.
What Does The Bible Says About Divorce?
You should not rely on your emotions to make important life-altering decisions. Feelings cannot be trusted. Like the house built on sand, a life built on feelings, or human logic for that matter, is heading toward destruction. Only a life built on Solid Rock will be able to withstand the storms that are certain to come. Therefore, it is important that you base all important life decisions on the infallible Truth in God’s Holy Word. So, what does the Bible say about divorce?
• Malachi 2:16 - “I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “because the man who divorces his wife
covers his garment with violence, So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”
• Matthew 5:31-32 - “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of
adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
• Mark 10:2-12 - Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
“What did Moses command you?” he replied. They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of
divorce and send her away.” “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus
replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will
leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no
longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” When they were in
the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and
marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another
man, she commits adultery.”
• Luke 16:18 - “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man
who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
• 1 Corinthians 7:39 - A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is
free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
• Ephesians 5:33 - However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband.
• Romans 7:2-3 - For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if
her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with
another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is
released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.
• Deuteronomy 22:19 - They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the young woman’s
father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must
not divorce her as long as he lives.
• Jeremiah 3:1 - “If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him and marries another man, should he return
to her again? Would not the land be completely defiled? But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers--
would you now return to me?” declares the LORD.
• 1 Corinthians 7:11-13 - But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.
And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who
is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband
who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
• Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds
something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his
house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband
dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies,
then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That
would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you
as an inheritance.
• Matthew 19:8-9 - Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were
hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for
sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
• Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the
adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
• 1 Corinthians 7:10-14 - To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate
from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a
husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a
believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not
a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been
sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.
Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
No marriage is beyond hope. With Christ all things are possible! We are here to help! Contact us today!